Feelings and forgiveness

Often when we have dealt Scripturally with bad feelings that have been aroused by a certain situation, we like to believe that we will not suffer them again. In some cases, we don't. But, as human beings, we may experience situations in our lives that stir up painful feelings about certain persons or events. Those feelings in themselves are not sinful. But if we respond to them with unremitting anger and hostility, they can rob us of fellowship with the Lord, His peace and joy, and abundant life. Psalm 37:1 advises us not to fret because of evildoers (Psalm 37:1). We mustn't dwell on the grief others have caused us. Instead, we are to seek the Lord's help, and forgive again.

Samuel Johnson said, "A wise man will make haste to forgive, because he knows the true value of time, and will not suffer it to pass away in unnecessary pain." (The Rambler).

Painful feelings may involve a missing or abusive parent, an errant or abusive mate, an ungrateful, uncaring child, or even something wrong that we did in the past. As an example of the latter, some women have told their close ones of their guilt and self-accusation concerning abortions or the breakup of their marriages that have haunted them for years. Even though they had asked the Lord's forgiveness, they had not been able to forgive themselves, until they realized the depth and reality of God’s forgiveness.

According to the psalmist, God has removed our transgressions from us as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12). Forgiveness is a key remedy for relief from painful feelings. If those feelings are caused by another person, we are wise to follow Jesus. advice when He said we are to forgive those who sin against us a limitless number of times, "until seventy times seven' (Matthew 18:22).

Two ways to go

Jesus gave us this teaching perhaps as much as for our sakes as for those we forgive. How can we enjoy His love, peace, and joy if we harbor wrath, malice, anger, bitterness and hostility toward someone else, or speak slanderously of that person. According to Ephesians 4:30-31, we grieve the Holy Spirit when we do that. And the Spirit is the source of love, peace, and joy (Galatians 5:22). The proper response is given in Ephesians 4:32 "being kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving, even as God for Christ' sake forgives us." How can we do that?

The Son of God knew all things; so He also told us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us (Matthew 5:44). According to Roget's Thesaurus, 'persecute' means to molest, wrong, or 'torment' 'to annoy or disturb with hostile intent or injurious effect.'

Bitterness and anger at God and others because of past experiences cause many people misery for years. Such hurtful feelings can mar their lives and those of others close to them. How sad that they have thus wasted their lives on self-pity! The best way we can reject bitter thoughts and feelings is through forgiveness. "Make every effort to live in peace..See to it that, no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many" (Hebrews 12:14-15). Wise Christians put their trust in the love and power of God and reject bitterness and self-pity.  In so doing we have achieved Christ's abundant life in spite of whatever has happened in our lives. Let us begin this new year with love and enjoy the peace of God that passes all understanding. Amen.